April 9, 1998

Part Three: Grace 
Lesson Nine: Shape 

Clause: a sequence of at least one subject+verb;  
the verb agrees  in number with the subject, 
and  can be made past or present. 

Main Clause 
Subordinate Clause 
Subordinating conjunctions 

 
A competent writer needs to know how to write short, clear 
sentences, but  also how to combine short sentences into one 
that is longer and more complex, but just as easy to 
understand. 

Sprawl: diagnosing it and revising it

I: Get the reader to the verb of the main clause quickly.

  a. Avoid long introductory phrases and clauses before the subject
     of the main clause. If needed, make a sentence out of such 
     introductory clauses, or move them to the end of the sentence. 

  b. Avoid a long separation between the subject and the verb of the 
     main clause. If this separation is due to an object that  forms 
     a long relative clause, revise it into a subordinate or 
     independent clause (a separate sentence).

II: After the verb of the main clause, avoid a string of 
    three or more 
    consecutive subordinate clauses or phrases of the same kind, unless 
    they are structured as in points III or IV below. 
    
    especially relative clauses:  clauses  that begins with that or which or 
    who
    Break such a sentence into smaller ones; or reduce some of the 
    relative clauses to phrases by deleting who/that/which...

III Coordination
    the architectural foundation of a well-shaped sentence
    when you have a choice, coordinate clauses rather than stringing  them
    together. Coordination creates balance, and provides shape  
    to a sentence. 

    a. Avoid coordinations inside the subject phrase, 
       in order to keep this phrase short. 
    b. coordinate elements that are parallel in grammar and thought. 
    c. Keep connections between  the coordinating clauses  clear:
       (1) keep the clauses short, (2) repeat a word to show 
       where the second clause of a coordination begins, . 
       (3) Begin a new sentence, (4) use a correlating conjunction
        such as Both X and Y, not only X but also Y, neither X nor Y.

IV: Add subordinate phrases by means of three modifying constructions:
    resumptive, summative, and free. 

resumptive: 
end the previous clause with a comma, repeat an important noun
or adjective or verb close to the end of the clause,
and add a clause. 
summative: 
end the previous clause with a comma,
sum up what has gone on before with a word or phrase, 
and then continue with a relative clause. 
free: 
end the previous clause with a comma,
modify the subject of the closest verb with another verb or adjective,
and then continue with a new  clause. 

Movement and Momentum 

Avoid interrupting   the subject-verb and verb-object links 
with long phrases,  to help readers move through a clause easily. 

Do not split an adjective from its modifying phrase. 

Avoid dangling or misplaced modifiers. 

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9.5.1
The construction of the Interstate Highway System 
ran into serious financial problems because 
Congress did not anticipate the  cost of inflation
when it  voted funds for the Highway System. 

Congress did not anticipate the cost of inflation
when it voted funds for the Interstate Highway system,
a decision that caused financial problems when it was  constructed.
(summative modifier)

Congress did not anticipate the cost of inflation
when it voted funds for the Interstate Highway system,
a decision that caused financial problems and long delays 
when it was  constructed.
(coordination)





9.5.7
Cigarette companies insist there  is no scientific proof
tobacco causes heart disease and cancer,
despite  strong statistical correlations between smoking and  
such diseases.  
(free modifier)

9.6.3

As a result of reorganizing the marketing research division,
we should be able to process information 
about new markets more rapidly than before. 
This information should be easy to process
since demographic data such as the average financial income,
expenditure patterns, etc., are already available for different markets. 
Hence we expect to identify new market segments more efficiently and 
reliably.