March 24, 1998 
Part Three:  Grace
Lesson Eight: Concision 
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To come: 
Lesson Nine Shape 
Lesson Ten  Elegance  
Appendix Punctuation

Concision does not gurantee grace, but it clears away the 
deadwood so that you can see your ideas clearly.

Do you really want your waiter telling the cook,
``The customer would like you to make and wrap up a bacon, lettuce, and tomato
sandwich on whole wheat toast, but do not, as you usually do, put on any 
mayonnaise.'' 
Better: ``B.L.T. down on wheat to go. Hold the mayo.''
Stephen G. Bloom and James L. Wunsch, 
On Language, New York Times Magazine, Aug 25, 1996.
  

Five principles of economy: 
1. delete meaningless words. E.g., kind of, basically, actually, etc. 
2. Delete doubled words. E.g., each and every, any and all, 
3. Delete what  readers  can infer. 
   a. Redundant modifiers: past history, future plans, free gift, true facts,
      etc. 
   b. Redundant categories: period of time, large in size, round in shape, etc.
   c. General implications: when one word implies others, cut the others. 
      
   d. Unnecessary explanation. Don't tell your readers what 
      you are certain they already know.
 4. Replace a long phrase with a word. 
    E.g. the reason for, due to the fact that, on the grounds that,
         the reason why: because, since, why.
5. Change negtaives  to affirmatives. 
    not different: similar, not the same: different, not many: few, 
    not often: rarely, etc. 
 
Do not discontinue medication unless symptoms of dizziness and 
nausea alleviate for six hours. 

Attempt 1 for comprehension: 
Continue taking the medicine unless [you feel better]. 
Attempt 2 for comprehension:
If you feel worse (or the same), continue medicine.


If  your dizziness and nausea persist  for six hours, 
continue taking the medicine. 

 

Metadiscourse 

Is needed to express
a. the writer's intention: Therefore, however, I believe, etc. 
b. the reader's desired response: Notice that, Consider now, etc. 
c. the structure of the text. First, Second, Finally. 

Don't use so much metadiscourse that it buries your ideas.



Productive redundancy
Learning by writing: 
When we are members of a community, we know what is common knowledge,
and hence what can be left unsaid. 
However, when we are still outsiders to a community, we do not know what 
should be left unsaid. 
An experienced writer knows that  summarizing common knowledge is 
useful, but knows when to discard it from  the final draft. 

A style so compact, so tight, so compact
that it has no soft edges at all can seem gracelessly brusque.
Pay close attention to what your readers think.